Wednesday, July 21, 2010

On the night of Tuesday, July 20th, Blues drank before bed...

A young man was lying on his deathbed... his dying wish? To see what Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core looks like on the PSP. I figured I could grant him at least that much. So I start playing, but damn, I got hooked on that stuff faster than an ex-tweaker would get hooked on meth again. During the third boss fight I ran over to the edge of couch to show him the gameplay, but I killed the boss before he looked at the screen.

A loud siren goes off. Oh shit! It's 15:45 and I'm supposed to be at... Aaron's Tae Kwon Do class? I head outside and pause. It looks like a very serious storm is a brewing. I run over to the town gym and I realize my friend Steve and a bunch of other folk from my town are running for the hills. As Steve passes me he tells me that I probably want to get the hell out of town if I know what's good for me. Curious...

When I get to the gym the front doors are wide open and the lights are flickering on and off. Everything is an eerie magical shade of dark grey-blue that you only ever see before a storm. I run through the gym from front to back and as I push open the back doors I see the Tae Kwon Do class lined up behind Aaron. He turns and says, ladies and gentlemen we've got three guns and as you all know Josh gets seniority. He pushes an SMG into my hands. He doesn't have to tell me why I need it.

When I look away from the guns I find myself looking down the barrel of a tank. On both sides of this tank there are some strictly suppress-fire tanks, and beside them are the two targeting tanks for the center tank (it can only fire once the other tanks have locked on to a target). Behind all of the tanks are two lines of men with guns.

The commander of the center tank tells his men not to fire until fired upon, because the target may still come peacefully. "I'M A COWARD!" I shout, tossing my gun into the air. Sadly I must have pulled the trigger as I let go and stray fire hits some of the army. "OPEN FIRE" shouts their commander. Before I get any further, Aaron dashes in front of me and pushes the gun back in my hands. "I don't train cowards. Turn around."

The gunfight really doesn't last as long as it should, seemingly nobody brought that much ammunition? No, no, nevermind. It's because we were to have an intense ninja brawl. They all move forward doing patterns, prepared to destroy. I suddenly get a burst of courage and sprint forward, as one of them is throwing a kick I crouch to the right to dodge, and side kick them in the stomach. I roll to the side quickly and dodge the axe-kick I wasn't supposed to know about. Back kick to that guy's stomach, grab his ears and flip him over me into two other guys. Before they can even fall down I've already jumped into the air and kicked them both in the face at the same time. As their backs hit the ground I'm standing on their faces. I turn to look at my next victim when I realize everyone here is one of my friends, zombified? Hypnotized? Something-ed.

For a brief moment, I get the sense that somewhere not too far from here and evil plant woman is laughing. During this moment I'm hit. Many bullets hit me. Their machine guns weren't made for piercing flesh, just stunning. I turn to run for cover and hey, there's a school bus behind me and a chalkboard to the right. I turn around again and realize my tae kwon do group and I are behind a couch. Aaron tells us we've got the advantage now and if we play our cards right we can win this. Everyone without a gun is bait and I'm to take out the targeting tanks using our special machine-gun.

This machine-gun is no normal gun, you have to point it at the same target for 5 seconds while it locks on. There's a loading bar on the laser sight that starts flashing when it's ready to fire. This makes the tank fight THAT much more dramatic and drawn out. I peer around the corner and take aim for the left one first. We both tag each other at the same time. The left tank is done for and the center tank takes out a tae kwon do student. I go to the other edge of the couch and take a gander with my gun-der around the corner. Take aim. Same as last time. Looks like the center tank is blind-firing.

I crawl under the couch and take aim... We fire. I miss and everyone undercover is blown into the air. I land behind a chunk of the school bus. Oh no! My girl! My girl's been hit! She says, "Take my gun... It's your only hope now. Take my wallet with my life's savings and live well after your victory... And know... That I've always loved you." She dies in my arms. This was a very dramatic, tear jerking moment, even after taking into consideration that she had no character introduction.

The commander of the tank pops open the hatch and stands up. This is too easy, I'm going to take you out with my handgun, for SnG's. I stand up and reveal my position. Dramatic dialogue dramatic dialogue dramatic dialogue. He decides I'm not worth his bullets anymore because he doesn't want any drama on his shells. His remaining machine-gunners machine-gun me down.

You can't kill me, Commander Reicherson. You have far too much hate, and nobody with pure evil in their heart can kill me.
"WORDS OF SHOCK!" and I pierce his heart in one swift pull of a trigger.

Far off in the distance a man in a white tuxedo sips his red wine. "Good show, good show, our time has come so it seems, yes." The camera leaves my body and I get to watch this great cinematic. I hold out Girl's handgun, close one eye, and tilt my head to the right. Pull the trigger.

Bullet's eye view from the camera as it soars across fields, hills, through a forest, gets struck by lightning, shatters the wine glass and hits the man in the white tuxedo right between the eyes. He falls to the ground staring blankly at the sky. The camera zooms out and it would appear he was having a one man dinner party in a forest clearing. There were elegant tables with foods and fine wines, with lights hanging from the vines. The voice of the forest cackles, the battle's just begun.

I woke up at this point. Took a shower. Went back to bed. I'll post part two after I get off work tonight :)

1 comment: