My first real nightmare?

Have you ever actually had a dream that scared you? Because for over 19 years I didn't have a truly scary dream, though lately that's changed. I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with the posts lately, though I've been working 5-6 shifts a week, writing mid-terms, and battling the bronchitis. But that's not why you're here! *Ahem*

First things first, I find myself in a good friend's living room. I try to look around but the room won't stop spinning. I'm getting dizzy and sick, so I grab onto the counter to get some balance... It's not a visual illusion, the room is actually spinning and I'm pulled from the counter up into the air. Floating in the air, my spinning accelerating like I'm in a hamster ball rolling down a hill into hell. Every now and then I bump into a wall, slam my head into something, grab for something to slow me down only to have some uncontrollable force tear me away.

I can't help but scream. I try and focus, only to have to spinning stop briefly. The second I get my feet back on the ground the spinning pulls me. Pushes me. Tosses me around. Nothing is stable. Everyone is watching me spin out, some pointing, some laughing, some shaking their heads, some stare... satisfied. They feel like I deserve this torture.

I close my eyes. Stop. Stop. Stop. Nothing. STOP. STOP. STOP SPINNING. Nothing.
I yell "STOP F***ING SPINNING!". I open my eyes and I'm standing at the the counter, gripping it tightly. Was that all in my head? (I have no idea I'm dreaming at any point) I ask my friend, "Do you have any medicine for this?! I never in my wildest dreams imagined flying powers would be this horrifying!". She promptly replies that the only solution is to pop some Ecstasy. I blink and she's standing right in front of me smiling. *pop* She pushes some Ecstasy into my mouth and tilts her head to the side and smiles.

I suddenly become very happy (how odd hey?) and I'm moving very quickly through a slowed-down world. She's able to move quickly too and she explains that my world is turning on me, spinning around because I have a feeling of no control over my life.
The trick, she says, is to be faster than the world, always moving, always one step ahead of the game. *I blink* We're naked. Shut up. It's not a wet dream.

I suppose the best way to describe this part of the dream, is that it was a beautiful moment. I was sitting on a footstool and she was sitting on my lap facing me. We were holding each other as closely as possible. Both of us were completely naked, fully comfortable with each other, and totally accepting. The world stopped spinning and time seemed to stop. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life (that's what the dream's narrator said). In an anime-like attempt at anti-eroticism her hair covered her nipples, and no, this was not sexual.

Basking in the romance we leaned forward and kissed...

My teeth turned into cheese and melted onto her teeth and when we pulled apart huge greasy strands of cheddar and mozza still connected us. She screamed and brought her hands to her face to pull the cheese off, but it was too late. I had infected her with a sexually-transmitted-discheese. I ruined a perfect moment, because I wasn't good enough. I'm not pure!

I woke up and thought about how this may be relate to my life.
Do I really feel such a lack of control? Maybe.
Am I a bad influence on the lives of those I care about? Sometimes...
Do I really think of myself as an unhealthy, greasy, disease-ridden hoe-bag? Not so much.
Is romance more important than debauchery? Hell yes.


What an awful... beautiful... dream. Makes you think.