So last night...
I was walking down the street in the town where I used to live, when all of a sudden six people on horses come zooming by laughing and screaming. I pause. "That's... Never seen that before around here. Maybe it's legal now." Though the legality of the situation is never revealed in this dream, it certainly delivers what a good dream should. Pressing forward... One of the horses jumps over a fence but the person suddenly falls off and dies a gruesome fence death. The other people continue to ride as if nothing happened and the horse runs free.
This is a situation that calls for me, clearly, because I know how to ride horse. *I lived in the country for ten years, only 6/7 of the time was video games.* So I chased that steed down with passion. The fiery kind of passion that you can feel in your stomach, feel it spreading though your digestive tract. Your colon. I could also feel it in my heart, pumping it through my arteries, veins, and colon. I did not poop the bed, but it was such an intense dream I could feel the rush of PASSION.
So naturally I catch the horse because I'm awesome... In my dreams. I grab the saddle and start pulling myself up while it's still running. *The horse is telepathic.*
"You think you can tame a mythical creature, boy?" and I think back
"I can sure as hell try!"... A few moments pass and the horse thinks at me
"Well, do you?" I think back
"I CAN SURE AS HELL TRY!" after a few seconds the horse says
"It's rude not to reply. Ass." *I'm not telepathic.*
" I thought I said I can sure as hell try!"
The horse say neigh I was just f*cking with you.
So the horse and I became fast friends, in every meaning. We started running figure eights through the parking lot, trampling passerby, and drive by sling-shottings.
Though we both know how this situation has to end. Turn, Steed! Straight ahead, Steed!
I took him back to his pack. The 6 girls who --- the 5 girls riding horseback were fascinated I caught up to them on the seemingly slowest horse of the bunch.
"Roxy was always a bit of an ass." Said one of the girls. Roxy thinks to me
"My mother was a donkey. My father was a horse god. She died during childbirth."
This brought back horrible memories for Roxy and before I could dismount he shot off through the mall (Yes.) and my head hit every second-floor walkway until I fell off.
The girls came back and said, you're not very tall for a boy, but you're still taller than us I guess. Suddenly two of the girls turned into boys and became taller than me.
I took this as my cue to leave and started walking down the street the other way, back home. What's this? A car in my driveway? Oh my god, Darcey finally got a three-seater! He can help me move! (Darcey has been asking me for rides anywhere and everywhere for almost four years. This was a highlight of this dream and stood out the most when I woke up. The three seater car plays a major role in this dream later on.)
I run into the house only to find myself on a battleground. My mom's ex-boyfriend is slaying my friends and family and laughing maniacally. *I ran to the public bathrooms.*
"Sitting in a stall, sitting in a stall, Pat won't kill me if I'm sitting in a stall"
"Hey!" some girl jumps up and peeks over the top of the stall. "Are you peeing sitting down?"
"Yeah. I always do. I have a long-standing fear of urinals, and peeing standing up in general."
"Oh... Well, I guess you deserve to die!" she says as she starts laughing.
I got up to punch her in the face, but suddenly a machete pierces the door!.. and my abdomen. I cough up some blood and stand frozen until it gets pulled out. I drop to me knees. The door opens. Pat is standing there grinning and the world around him is spattered with blood.
Wesley and Darcey come back from wherever they were, probably heaven, with McDonald's.
Pat can't handle anymore Carbohydrates! *He explodes* "Curse you french fried pertaters!----------" Echoes throughout the room. He turns into a cheque for his share of the house and cottage. "Separation Agreement - WIN"
I lied about the three-seater playing a role later on.
No comments:
Post a Comment